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I was only looking for ice cube trays. Until the hand of fate guided me into the pastel sugar-encrusted world of The Easter Aisle. I screeched to a halt and whipped my head to confirm the suspicions of what I had just seen.
Only a Texan Dollar General could you find this little kit of wonderment. I was incredulous. Should I slap my knee and bust a gut?? Or hang my head in shame for this mockery of Easter. I mean, I DO live in a state where men weld deer blinds to their pickups and women pack heat, so really, why should I be surprised? Camo eggs- It will make for a truly unforgettable Easter egg hunt and simultaneous cruel joke to play on kids. Good luck finding THAT egg in the grass- It will keep them occupied for HOURS.
Ahhh yes, Camo Eggs: Perfect for your next Apocalypse Now party.
As for the air horn; that is an entirely different Dollar General story- stay tuned.
Here be monsters- A phrase that translates going into the unknown. Nebulous, unexplored waters where you will undoubtedly come across some unholy hybrid of sea monster. Think large scale platypus drooling blood with gnarly fangs, not-so-beaver like tail and an axe to grind.
The perfect metaphor for moving from Chicago to Austin.
Texas is still uncharted territory, but I have yet to see Nessie terrorizing the kayaks in Town Lake or murderous sea beavers at Barton Springs...On the contrary- Austin is like the cartoon cast of Monsters Inc during Happy Hour; slightly buzzed, freaky looking and content.
I'll admit part of me wants to shout, 'LET'S DO THIS YA'LL', don a pirate outfit, earth shoes and join the party.
Until the internal Yankee puts her high-heeled foot down and says no f#@king way. A definite study in contrasts- it's like having my own version of Maude and The Dude in my head...
